Put the list
at the end.
By Adam Frick · Illustrated draftWhat is the list doing in your sentence?
You want to explain how a team made a decision. Why begin by handing the reader a pile of criteria before naming that decision? I prefer to introduce the team and its action, then give the criteria a clear place at the end. Compare the first pair below and notice where you discover what the list means. The revision changes the emphasis as well as the order.
See the supporting references.Give the criteria a decision to explain.
Establish the decision first.
Constructed teaching exampleCost, access and support after publication shape the team’s decision.
The team bases its decision on cost, access and support after publication.
Give the list a clear job.
Constructed teaching exampleStructure, evidence and wording form the review’s focus.
The review examines structure, evidence and wording.
Avoid inventing an actor.
Constructed teaching exampleBudget cuts, staff shortages and approval delays prevented completion.
The project could not be completed because of budget cuts, staff shortages and approval delays.
Keep the responsibility honest.
I would not invent a decision-maker just to obtain a tidy subject. The third example uses a passive construction because the original names obstacles without identifying a responsible person. A list can also deserve the opening position when the items themselves are the point under discussion. Research on end-weight supports examining the order, not declaring every list subject defective.
References and evidence
- Remarks on grammatical weight ↩
- cross-language study by Jing, Widmer and Bickel ↩
- Gibson’s locality account ↩
Read the evidence and its limits.
Thomas Wasow’s Remarks on grammatical weight[1] examines the tendency for longer or more complex English phrases to appear towards clause endings. That tendency provides a useful basis for placing a detailed list after a short sentence core. The research describes patterns influenced by more than one factor. My prohibition on list subjects is a stronger editorial rule for the writing I teach.
The broader cross-language study by Jing, Widmer and Bickel[2] found that ordering effects varied with the kind of grammatical relationship. Those results prevent a simple claim that every language always puts short material first. I use the English recommendation to help writers design a clear sequence for a particular audience. The recommendation should be assessed through the meaning and structure of the actual sentence.
The placement of detail matters because the reader must keep track of an unfinished sentence. Gibson’s locality account[3] explains heavier material towards endings through the costs of maintaining and completing grammatical dependencies. That explanation complements the observed English tendency towards end-weight. The account supports reducing avoidable waiting, rather than proving that every list subject is ineffective.